This list I found stashed deep in one of my desk drawers as I was looking through some of my things, and I thought I would share with you the wisdom that can come of these humorous lists. This list was dated 1998! Do you think I should actually clean out my desk once in a while? lol.
Anyway, here we are, the list of what could kill you if you were to say these things to your pregnant wife..
“Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs forty pounds.”
“Y’know, looking at her, you’d never know that Pamela Lee had a baby.”
“I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!”
“Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.”
“Damn if you ain’t about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella!”
“Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy that’s gotta hurt!”
“Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!”
“I’m jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?”
“Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”
“Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!”
“Geez, you’re awfully puffy looking today!”
“Got milk?”
“Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.”
“Man! That rose tatoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!”
“Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.”
